I am seriously getting fed up with this dial-up business. I know my dad can't help it, dial-up is all they can get out in the boonies unless he pays out the ass for satellite or something, and I have SO much respect for people who live on it, love on it and get a lot done.
Tonight I very nearly started throwing glassware around the house. All I wanted to do was update my freakin Buzznet and, like so many websites nowadays, it takes about a year to load. Not quite as long as my blog.
I finally told my dad about the wedding.
I was a little nervous about it, but the reaction I got wasn't what I expected. Just a big hug and he got really excited. *phew* Crisis averted.
It's almost surreal, yet not unwelcome to have people tell me that I seem happier and more content than I have in the past. Feels good to be told and to not have to tell. Fuckin awesome, actually.
My frigging nerves are still a little bit jangled from yesterday. Just a teeny bit, I hope it's building excitement and not that anxiety. Whatshisname's parcel of important papers are going to be here tomorrow or saturday and that is GOOD. Fuck yeah.
I know I should really grab this bull by the horns. It really gets in the way of things, though. My body gets completely out of whack and things go haywire and it makes it nearly impossible to go anywhere. I've managed, but having to be within sight of a toilet is aggravating. I much prefer riding it out at home, comfy and able to nap or something.
When I get back to Bangor, though, I have the distinct feeling that this will all go away.
The last time I got any bouts of anxiety was a few years ago when my ex husband was deployed for 9 months, leaving me to fend for myself, hang out, party hearty, get wasted like every day. Upon hearing when he was coming back, HO-LEE CHIT. I was a fucking wreck. I missed loads of work...I'd get all the way from Bremerton to Seattle on the ferry and I would get within blocks from work and not be able to make it. Had to get to comfort zone asap. It was awful.
I am sure it will all be okay when I get home. T'wouldn't do to be an anxious mess at our wedding!
Fred is doin okay, he's been eating more the past couple of days, and his foot isn't bleeding as much, although I did have to wash everything on my bed the other day, cos that's where he spends most of his time. Either there or out in the bed of poppies.
He's awfully thin, but he's truckin like a mofo.
And I think his purr is broken. It's just like, a fast snorty breath-y thing.
Okay, it's Law & Order time. (Maaaaaaaatloooooocccccck!) | posted by Whatsername again....? @ 5/05/2006 05:17:00 am |
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Tonight I very nearly started throwing glassware around the house. All I wanted to do was update my freakin Buzznet and, like so many websites nowadays, it takes about a year to load. Not quite as long as my blog.
I finally told my dad about the wedding.
I was a little nervous about it, but the reaction I got wasn't what I expected. Just a big hug and he got really excited. *phew* Crisis averted.
It's almost surreal, yet not unwelcome to have people tell me that I seem happier and more content than I have in the past. Feels good to be told and to not have to tell. Fuckin awesome, actually.
My frigging nerves are still a little bit jangled from yesterday. Just a teeny bit, I hope it's building excitement and not that anxiety. Whatshisname's parcel of important papers are going to be here tomorrow or saturday and that is GOOD. Fuck yeah.
I know I should really grab this bull by the horns. It really gets in the way of things, though. My body gets completely out of whack and things go haywire and it makes it nearly impossible to go anywhere. I've managed, but having to be within sight of a toilet is aggravating. I much prefer riding it out at home, comfy and able to nap or something.
When I get back to Bangor, though, I have the distinct feeling that this will all go away.
The last time I got any bouts of anxiety was a few years ago when my ex husband was deployed for 9 months, leaving me to fend for myself, hang out, party hearty, get wasted like every day. Upon hearing when he was coming back, HO-LEE CHIT. I was a fucking wreck. I missed loads of work...I'd get all the way from Bremerton to Seattle on the ferry and I would get within blocks from work and not be able to make it. Had to get to comfort zone asap. It was awful.
I am sure it will all be okay when I get home. T'wouldn't do to be an anxious mess at our wedding!
Fred is doin okay, he's been eating more the past couple of days, and his foot isn't bleeding as much, although I did have to wash everything on my bed the other day, cos that's where he spends most of his time. Either there or out in the bed of poppies.
He's awfully thin, but he's truckin like a mofo.
And I think his purr is broken. It's just like, a fast snorty breath-y thing.
Okay, it's Law & Order time. (Maaaaaaaatloooooocccccck!) | posted by Whatsername again....? @ 5/05/2006 05:17:00 am |
